:: the joy and beauty of being a mom ::

lThe beauty of being a mom..having to cuddle your baby, breastfeeding him.. making the bond stronger..even with the father.. hearing the loud cries at 3am in the morning, feeding him up to 2 hours... God knows how wonderful the feeling is! knowing that your child needs you all the time..wanting you to pamper him... :) how wonderful Allah's creation is. I cried while holding my son for the first time knowing that only a few layers of skin unraveling us before..even when you have sleepless nites which i usually have, i still enjoy the cuddling sessions where i can talk to azfar, tell him everything i wish for, telling him how wonderful his baba is, how to be a good son and what a big world there is waiting for him to explore...

Just forget 'bout the swollen akles, the numb fingers and how sometimes i have sleepless nites due to uncomfortable tummy.. the GIFT FROM HEAVEN is priceless! Alhamdulillah...

My mom is the one who takes care of me..to think about it, she fed me when i was a baby and she still feeds me now, making sure i have my morning and afternoon coffee, preparing my special confinement dishes~(when i have cravings n while im in confinement). she used to bath me, she still does~prepares my hot bath, she use to put me to sleep~she still now, letting me enjoy taking naps while she pampers my son even if she can't have her afternoon naps and she still does what she used to do while i was her small child.~this is how a mother's love, it just never ends!

Having a great husband really makes the difference. Alhamdulillah he stills pampers me.. :) he puts me and my baby to sleep now :) reminding me to have my meals, my naps, my medications. wat touches me most is when he carries me to the toilet and helped me. my fren once told me, if a husband can help you to the extend that he will help you in the toilet (when you do BO or anything), then you know how much your husband loves you and how much can u rely on him. i guess i know the answer now. thank you a zillion my j.e.j.a.k.a my Koibito-Yo..

LOVE NEVER ENDS

:: Our New Life~Our Pride & Joy… Azfar Hazim bin Hasnizam ::

It was 6.05 am, June 4 2008 when my nephew knocked on my door. Nun and I woke up knowing that he won’t stop until we opened the door.. I get up realizing my pants were wet! Showed that to abah & mak, and rite away they asked me to say my Subuh prayer because we had to rush to KMC!!! Its time!

No pain at all.. called my sweetheart at work telling him that we were on the way to KMC. Reached there at about 7.30am. I was pushed to the delivery suite. Was checked by the nurses and they told me Dr Kamarulzaman is on his way and I had to deliver the baby that day! The water bag was broken so we can’t risk anything. Miracle that is, I did not suffer any pain, well…not until 3pm or so. Allah knows how painful it was. Now I know how much my mom suffered during the delivery. My sweetheart was beside me all the way. He made it better.

At around 5.00 pm Dr Kamarulzaman came again for the…I dunno…the 4^th time I think just to check.. I tried to push the baby out but he did not engaged properly. Finally, the doctor told Nizam I had to undergo C-section. Its for the best. At that time, all I want is my sweetheart to be beside me.. I can clearly see his face smiling away before I was pushed into the OT. He kissed me on my forehead and I prayed to Allah hoping that it won’t be the last kiss I had.

At exactly 5.59pm, June 4 2008 Azfar Hazim bin Hasnizam was born.

At around 2pm June 5 2008, I hold my baby for the first time~dropped a few tears.

At around 2pm June 5 2008, I successfully breastfed my baby.

And at that time, I completely felt ..I am now a mother.

And for the 1^st time ever, we sat as a family.

My j.e.j.a.k.a. was with me all the way. He helped me through my pain, my sadness and my happiness. How can I be more grateful? He gave me strength and helped me through the rough times. Azfar is very lucky having Nizam as his Baba..to my love, my sweetheart my strength, my life, my heartthrob, THANK YOU FOR BEING THE GREATEST HUSBAND, PARTNER, FRIEND AND GREATEST BABA!

Minutes Hours Day Weeks Months All so quickly passing... Life is too short to let a day go by without telling you...I love you..

I hear love . . . in your voice,

when you speak or laugh or whisper . . .

I see love . . .

in your eyes, in your smile, in all you do . . .

I feel love . . .

in your touch, in its warmth and tenderness.

Thank you for the beautiful gift of your love.

Happy Belated Father’s Day to you from me & azfar. (sorry I can’t bake u a cake..i’ll bake one on ur birthday ya..) muahss to you!

::writing from my bed:: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the world's greatest Baba & husband